Epiphany

Sometimes in books a character will have an epiphany and solve a case. And once in a while we have epiphanies in real life. Such was the situation this week.

My post will be a bit more personal than usual because I’m hoping that figuring things out might touch someone else the way it touched me. I’ve seriously been considering giving up my writing. Life just hasn’t been kind over the past couple of years.

I lost my husband to what he used to refer to as, “The Widow Maker.” In other words, he had a sudden and unexpected heart attack, and that was it. (I miss him more than I can express, and more than I want to talk about.) Among other things, I had some health problems, made a major move from Arizona to Washington, and more recently, book sales have dropped with a thud.

I’ve spent a lifetime picking myself up and moving on when things didn’t go well or as planned. I haven’t been able to do that this time – until now.

Sometimes answers come to us when we least expect it and in ways we wouldn’t dream of. I read the email of someone who’s having a rough time because of life, people and writing, and it caused an epiphany. Here’s the realization that came to me and pretty much changes everything.

Writing has been an uphill battle. In fact, without going into details, my whole life has been an uphill battle. I can’t explain it, but this person’s email brought that up from the depths of my heart and mind.

I’d hoped my writing would supplement my income. Didn’t happen, or maybe I should say, barely happened. Then I remembered something very important. I started writing because it’s something I love to do. From now on I do it because I enjoy it. If the books don’t sell, oh well… What more can one ask for than to be doing something that makes them happy?

And this goes for the rest of my life, too. The heck with it. No more worrying about every little thing. I can’t possibly please everyone, and I can’t accommodate every request that comes my way.

It’s too cliché to say that when life hands me lemons, I make lemonade. Nope. It’s not that easy. However, when life hands me chocolate, I fully intend to eat every bite and savor the flavor. It’s comfort food, and besides, I don’t like lemons or lemonade anyway.

It’s time for a downhill slide. Easy peasy. Struggling is passé. It’s time to yell, “Wheeeee” as I take the easy way down from the top of that hill. Sliding is so much easier than climbing.

I have faith and that’s what counts. Faith in what? Faith in God, in myself, in my talent, and in those I care about.

Here’s to a new life and a new beginning, for all of us who need them.

Now I’m going back to work on “Black Butterfly,” my latest work in progress. I’m ready to write, and I hope the story is ready for me.

Until next time, take a ride down that hill and enjoy every moment of it.

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