Dialogue Style

When you write dialogue, are you mimicking anyone? Like yourself? The curious want to know. Someone asked me about this today.

 I honestly don’t think my characters’ dialogue is the way I talk. I generally try to think of the character’s personality and fit the dialogue to that. Do I know anyone with that type of personality that I can borrow from? Sometimes, but not always. There are times I have to think about the average reaction.

There are times that the protagonist in my books might use a word that I use, and that’s to be expected. We generally create dialogue that’s familiar to us; that we use or someone we spend time around uses. Do you spend time around teenagers? Their dialogue might be quite entertaining.

Hmm. That’s not always the case. For instance, a bad guy probably isn’t going to say, “shucky darn” when he’s caught. Well, I wouldn’t either. It’s up to the individual author to decide whether he might cuss, yell, moan or whatever. On the other hand, I suppose someone might say “shucky darn,” but I don’t know that person.

I have some senior characters in my books and I’ve spent a lot of my life around seniors. Well, I am one now (I like to say barely), but I’m talking about people in their eighties and nineties. They can be quite colorful sometimes. My grandmother used to say, “I can pretty much say whatever I want now and get away with it. People just attribute it to my age.” She was ninety at the time. I have that same attitude about what I eat, not what I say. Think chocolate. Give me time and I’ll probably come around to her way of thinking.

Keep the dialogue real.

“I am going to the store to buy several items. Would you care to accompany me?”

“I’m going to the store to pick up some stuff. Wanna come along?”

Which one sounds right? Either one. It simply depends on your character’s personality.

What about a character who stutters? Let them stutter, but don’t overdo it. The grandmother I just mentioned stuttered. We were very comfortable together and sometimes I’d finish her sentence for her. If it turned out she was going in a different direction than I anticipated, she’d just laugh and start over.

What about a mean or demented character? Can you create dialogue for that type of personality? Sometimes it takes research. I know someone who lives in an apartment building with some very mean-spirited women. She wouldn’t need to research meanness. It’s right there in front of her.

Maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Study the people around you, no matter where you are. Some of the things you might hear in the grocery store are mind boggling. Yesterday I was at the store and I heard a mother and her adult son in the next aisle. I couldn’t see them, but the son just about broke my heart. He was mentally challenged and he was sobbing, crying his little heart out, asking her not to leave him. She was reassuring him that she wasn’t leaving him behind and he should walk with her. She was patient, kind and gentle with him. That was the gist of it, and it was eye-opening. You don’t hear an adult male react to something like a small child every day. How did I know he was mentally challenged? You could hear it in the dialogue and tone of voice. I never saw them, and the male could have been a teenager, but he definitely had an adult voice.

Remember the things you hear. Write notes to yourself if you need to. Sometimes you don’t have to take notes because some dialogue will stick in your mind forever.

Anyway, keep your dialogue in line with your character’s personality, age and gender. And, again, keep it real.

Until next time, don’t purposely be nosy, but sometimes you can’t help overhearing conversations, especially when someone is on their cell phone. They tend to talk louder for some reason. Children often speak loudly, too, and I’ve heard a few give away secrets just because of the volume.

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw’s website

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Are you looking for something new to read? Try People Lookin’ Half Dead – A Bogey Man Mystery. Think major heat wave and people disappearing, and you’ve got an interesting and entertaining story.

The Pigeons and the Owl

Sometimes the darnedest memories raise their little heads and say, “Pick me! Pick me! I’d like to be in a post.” In this case it was the memory of pigeons.

 I once heard that if you put an owl in your yard the pigeons will stay away because the owl is a natural predator. It doesn’t have to be a live owl, just a good imitation will do. When I lived in Arizona, we had a pigeon problem. They came in by the dozen and the left their own personal little yard art signature on everything. Ick.

My husband and I went to a local auction one Saturday and there was a lovely, large fake owl, front and center. The eyes looked so realistic. I had to have it. Thankfully, there was only one other person who wanted it but they didn’t want it as much as I did. The owl had a new home, in our backyard.

We had a pond which is where the pigeons loved to congregate. They’d do everything but put their fingers (if they had any) in their ears and give us the raspberry. Pppffffffttt. Even the dogs didn’t scare them because there was a fence around the pond and the dogs couldn’t get to them. I’ll give you one guess where we put the owl. Uh huh. We set him in the rocks by the pond.

The next day I saw three pigeons sitting on the block wall. I swear, they sat there and stared at the owl. Within moments they flew away. Later in the day, the same thing happened again.

I sighed in relief. Our pigeon problem had been solved and all it took was a fake owl. Just in case, I watched again the next day. Same thing. The pigeons watched the owl, probably shivering in fear, and flew away.

Then I learned a sad lesson. Birds aren’t as dumb as you might think. A couple of days later I went outside and there were pigeons lounging around the pond. Two of them were actually sitting next to the owl, staring at it as though say, “Come on, pal. Make my day. Just try to get me.”

You might wonder what this story has to do with writing. You never know where a story idea might come from. I learned a few things from this experience, and they can be applied to pretty much any mystery. I learned that pigeons are afraid of owls. I learned that if the owl never moves, the birds begin to catch on that it’s probably not coming after them. I learned that even pigeons can flex their muscles. There were practically taunting the owl.

When you’re writing a book you have to come up with a situation and causation. You have to decide what motivates characters, whether it’s a good guy or a bad guy. Many times you need a believable confrontation. How will the confrontation be resolved?

I’m what’s called a “pantser.” Basically, that means I write the book without an outline. I sit down and start writing, figuring things out as I go along. I know how I want the story to begin, and I know how I want it to end. Filling in everything in the middle can sometimes be an issue. Sometimes the stories take off in an unplanned direction, kind of like when I realized the pigeons weren’t fooled by the owl. Sometimes my good intentions get in the way and I have to come up with a different ending than I’d planned.

Sometimes you’ve just gotta go with the flow. You’ve got to be flexible, ready to make changes. I’ve read books where the ending was forced because the author couldn’t let go of an idea. It didn’t work and the book suffered for it. Thankfully, revisions are forgiving. Pigeons? I’m not so sure. I’d swear they were trying to give us dirty looks, and I don’t think they felt very forgiving.

So how did we resolve the pigeon problem? It was simple. We started moving the owl around when the pigeons weren’t in the yard. The fake owl suddenly turned into an owl with feet and the ability to move, at least in the eyes of the pigeons.

Have you ever had to take a left turn in a book when you had your heart set on a right turn? It happens. Go with it. Be flexible and ready to write what’s going to work the best in your story. Be ready to move that owl.

Until next time, don’t take any wooden owls, uh, nickels, and if pigeons are invading your space, watch where you step. It could get ugly. Find yourself an owl.

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw’s website

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Just out: One Adventure Too Many – A Sandi Webster Mystery. Need a few laughs? This book might provide those.

Do the Shoes Fit?

There’s an old saying about never judging someone until you’ve walked in their shoes. That’s great advice. However, for a writer that saying can have a whole different meaning.

 

An author can write fictitious mysteries, and they can create all kinds of havoc and adventure. We can set the scene whether something is happening indoors or outside. We can tell you how a character is dressed, or how their hair is combed (or not combed), and we can make it believeable if we play our cards right.

There’s one thing that a writer needs to handle very carefully – people’s reactions and emotions. They can make or break a story. People need to react to a situation realistically, even if the reaction is somewhat inappropriate. If the reaction is inappropriate, then the author needs to convey why the character didn’t do what was expected.

I’ve made a number of comments throughout these blogs about observing people. As a writer, I figure this is one of the most important things I do. For purposes of this post, I’m going to use a funeral as an example. You might see so many different emotions. So let’s say that Cousin Gertrude passed on unexpectedly last week, and it’s time for the funeral.

Gertrude’s daughter may cry uncontrollably. The death was unexpected, after all, and mother and daughter were close. Gertrude’s husband may appear completely lost and a single tear may slide down his face. Hubby is lost because Gertrude was his best friend in life. He’s visibly shaken.

What about Cousin Gerard? Why does he have that smirk on his face? He never liked Gertrude, and they had a falling out a month before her death when he asked to borrow money and she told him no. He feels like she got what she deserved. He doesn’t know that Gertrude didn’t have the money to lend him. She didn’t share that with him.

Here comes Justine, Gertrude’s granddaughter. Her face is drawn, but her eyes are dry. Why isn’t she crying? She adored her grandmother. Could it be that she’s in shock? Or maybe she simply doesn’t want anyone to know just how badly she’s hurting inside. She may hang her head and not look anyone in the eye. There are also some people who simply don’t cry – about anything.

Gertrude’s best friend, Cynthia, is sitting in the rear or the church. A small giggle escapes her lips and she places her hand over her mouth. Ah, she’s the nervous giggler. Whenever disaster strikes, she begins to laugh. It’s her way of dealing with a crisis. She’ll jump up and take charge in an emergency – laughing all the while.

Buster is sitting next to Cynthia, fidgeting and not paying attention. Is he jiggling his knee? Pulling at the collar of his shirt? Repositioning his behind on the seat every few seconds? He finds Cynthia’s giggle annoying, and he wants to go home to watch the big game. Gertrude meant nothing to him. He’s only at the funeral for Cynthia’s sake.

Everyone reacts differently to each situation. That includes humor. What one person finds funny may make another purse her lips and make a tsk tsk sound. The lip purser may think the humor was in bad taste, while it’s just exactly what the doctor ordered for the laughing person.

So put yourself in someone else’s shoes and decide which reaction is appropriate to a particular situation and character. Even though you might curse and yell if you hit your thumb with a hammer, someone else might actually just say, “Shucks.” Yes, I’ve seen and heard that reaction, although it wasn’t me. Keep it real, but make sure the reader knows why someone is emotional, or emotionless, by their actions and reactions.

Until next time, if you read a book this week pay attention to the characters’ reactions and see if they make you feel an emotion in conjunction with what the character is going through. And have a piece of chocolate to see if it perks you up. Perking up is an emotion, too, and chocolate is my answer to everything.

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw’s website

CLICK HERE for a quick trip to Amazon.com

Entrance to Nowhere – A Sandi Webster Mystery is in the works and nearing completion. In the meantime, you might try Having a Great Crime – Wish You Were Here, another Sandi Webster mystery.

Change Your Shoes, Please

I was watching something on TV the other night and, well, there was a scene that bugged me. I’ve seen the same instance happen in several shows over a period of many years. A cop or P.I. or whoever is sneaking up on someone. They accidentally kick something, knock something over, or step on a twig that cracks and gives away their presence. No one seems to notice that their footsteps were a dead giveaway. They’re not wearing rubber soled or athletic shoes, so every step they take makes a sound. That should have actually been what gave them away. You can’t sneak up on someone if your steps are clicking or clacking or echoing.

A sneeze or a cough would make a better giveaway. They might drop a flashlight or some other heavier object, but I like the sneeze or the cough better. Those are sounds that you can’t necessarily control, and they’re human sounds. When’s the last time you heard a rat in an old warehouse cough or sneeze?

Some things are just too predictable when it comes to giving yourself away. Sneaking isn’t all that easy, but it might be smarter to wear those athletic shoes. An allergic reaction to flowers might cause the sneeze, or dust floating in the air might cause the cough. Of course, there’s always the possibility that your character has a cold but believes the job must be done anyway.

Maybe the character isn’t following anyone. Maybe they’re hiding from a bad guy and they’ve secreted themselves behind a pile of boxes. A sneeze, cough or a nervous hiccup will still work. Of course, it might make it harder to run for their lives if they’re coughing.

You have to look at all possibilities, all sides of what could happen.

I’ve also found it unrealistic if a character reaches into her purse, searches for and pulls out a weapon, and defends herself all in one swift movement. On the other hand, what’s she supposed to do? “Oh, hold on a sec, sweetie. I need to search my purse before you shoot, strangle, or beat me. cough cough With any luck I’ll find a cough drop before you hurt me. Be patient. I’m looking. Oh, here’s my gun. Uh, I mean here’s a cough drop.”

Bang! Too late. She didn’t even get her hand out of her purse. Yes, I know many people are anti-gun, but we’re talking about fiction here. And, frankly, if someone meant to do me harm, I sure hope I’d have something to defend myself with.

I once read a book where the protagonist used a bowl of salad as a defense. Figure that one out. It made sense in the context in which it was used and I’ve never forgotten that simple bowl of salad. (Darkness at Foxglove Corners by Dorothy Bodoin)

How about when they whisper to their partner? I understand that in a TV show the viewer wants to hear what’s said, but unless the character gets really close to their partner’s ear, the bad guy might hear something, too. It works better in a book.

Here’s one I almost forgot. Isn’t it just a bit silly when you see a female protagonist chasing a bad guy and she’s wearing high heels? She’d break her ankle before catching the bad guy. Unless, of course, the perpetrator that she’s chasing is also wearing high heels. She could take off the heels and run barefoot, but then she might step on something like broken glass and the whole chase could be over.

I understand these are probably farfetched ideas in the minds of some, but when writing a book I think the authors often need to put themselves in the footsteps (or shoes) of the  protagonist and think things through logically. What would work and what wouldn’t, and how do you keep from giving yourself away?

Of course, you can throw all of my comments out the window when you’re writing with humor or you need the characters to give themselves away. It’s just that there should be a purpose behind clicking shoes or a sneeze, or the type of shoes someone is wearing, or the weapon used to defend yourself.

Just some thoughts. Maybe I watch too much television.

Until next time, be prepared. Dress comfortably. Stay healthy. Think logically. Most of all, enjoy life.

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw’s website

CLICK HERE for a quick trip to Amazon.com

Like ghost towns? What if you were stranded in one? Try Old Murders Never Die - A Sandi Webster Mystery