Trying Times

Hi everyone! I haven’t written a post in a long time, and with our stay-at-home days, now felt like the right time. I sincerely hope you’re all well and that you’ve found things to fill your time.

I stocked up on chocolate, so I’m happy. Too bad I didn’t stock up on toilet paper and tissues. Has anyone noticed, in the middle of all the talk about hoarding toilet paper, that the facial tissues have disappeared, too? Cleaning products? Forget it.

I know that people are having a difficult time during the Covid19 pandemic. Some people are feeling fear and panic. Wasn’t it Franklin D. Roosevelt who said, in his 1933 Inaugural Address, “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself?” Be cautious, use your common sense, and live your life, even if it’s within the confines of your own home. Read a book, watch television, play games or do whatever holds your interest. I hear a neighbor outside mowing his lawn. I live in the far northwest corner of the United States. It’s still cold here and I wouldn’t be out mowing my lawn, but to each his own.

Because of a few health issues, I’ve made my last trip to the grocery store for a while. I’m not willing to take chances so I’m using my common sense and staying at home, looking for things to keep me busy. My writing keeps me busy. My housecleaning keeps me busy, too, but there’s only so much you can do. So here I am, writing a post after a very long time.

I’m a firm believer in humor keeping us going. My daughter has found several jokes online. Some of them are dark humor, but I have to admit that they can still make me laugh.

One of my all-time favorite movies is 1947’s “The Egg and I,” with Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray. It’s entertaining and based on the humorous memoir by Betty MacDonald. As a newlywed, her husband wanted to start a chicken farm in Washington State. When she visited her family in Seattle, she related stories of her adventures, or misadventures, on the farm. Her sisters talked her into writing the book.

Once, when visiting my grandmother, I saw the book sitting on her shelf and she gave it to me. I’m afraid it’s been sitting on my own bookshelf since the late 1980s. On a whim, I picked it up this morning and started to read it. I’m only a few pages into the memoir and I can already see the humor in it. I have a feeling when I sit down this evening, with the book, that I won’t be able to put it down.

I believe she wrote the book in 1945. In those days no one had ever heard of political correctness. She’s honest in her feelings, and she’s funny. Set aside the PC attitude and enjoy a good story.

So instead of watching a drama on TV, or reading a horror story, try picking up something with humor. Look for the humor around you.

One of my dogs, Sugar, has a “thing” on her neck. It looks awful. I called the veterinarian yesterday and they had me send photos of this “thing.” It seems she probably scratched or cut her neck and it’s turned into a bacterial infection. I drove to the vet’s office (and it felt so good to get out of the house) , parked, and called them on my cell phone. They have a little table outside, by the front door. A young woman stepped outside, set Sugar’s medications on the table, and scurried back inside. I then left the car and picked up the package. Nothing funny about this so far, right?

I brought home antibiotics and a spray for her neck. After I sprayed her neck, my other dog, Murphy, was so excited and wanted to sniff what I’d sprayed on her. Knowing him, he probably thought I did it just for him. One sniff and he made a fast U-turn and ran out of the room. Oh, yes, the spray has a pungent odor. Murphy’s reaction was one of those things you had to see to recognize the humor in it. Sugar is probably thinking, “Spray me again so he’ll leave me alone.” He does act a little pushy from time to time. By the way, Murphy is a very large Yellow Lab trying to run on a hardwood floor. His exit was not graceful.

My whole point is, try to stay busy, use your common sense and look for something that will make you laugh. At the very least, you want something that will put a smile on your face.

My thoughts are with you all and I pray for all of us every day. God bless you and I wish you good health!

CLICK HERE for a quick trip to Amazon.com

(Sorry, but my website is a thing of the past. If I ever work up the courage, I may build a new one in the future.)

The latest Sandi Webster mystery is titled, “No One Will Find Me” and you might find a touch of humor as you get into the story. How do you combine a serial killer, suspense and humor? It can be done.

About Words and Phrases

This is a repeat of a post I wrote several years ago, but I think it’s still relevant.

Several years ago, before “going postal” became a catch phrase, I was at work and talking to someone who worked in a different department. I was mildly annoyed about something someone had done (I can’t recall what) and said, “Oh, I could just shoot him,” referring to someone whom I don’t even remember. The person I was talking with was horrified, and I was quite surprised. I hadn’t said it with venom, or even any real anger. I had to explain that it was only a figure of speech. He didn’t know what that meant, so I had to explain that to him. By the time I walked away, I could have throttled the man I’d been talking to, figuratively speaking.

As a writer it breaks my heart to hear people trying to clip figures of speech out of the American dialogue. For heaven sake, not everything is meant to be taken seriously. A cliché is a cliché, and a figure of speech is just that – a figure of speech. There’s a time for political correctness; however, I tend to think of that as common courtesy and common sense speech.

If I overheard someone plotting a murder and they said, “I could just shoot him,” that’s one thing. However, if I heard a friend say the same thing about the husband she was frustrated with, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. She would have been venting, letting go of some of her frustration, and that would probably be a good thing. Marital argument averted? Maybe. Hopefully.

I was once at the airport and someone asked me what I do for a living. I almost told her I write murder mysteries, but I caught myself and simply told her I’m a writer. Good grief! I didn’t want the TSA calling me aside because someone overheard me utter the word murder. I also didn’t want to be a diva and look down my nose at her and say, “I’m an author. (sniff)” I’m just a simple writer with simple ways, but I do write darned good mysteries that aren’t simple. I should be able to be proud of what I do and sing out the words, “I write murder mysteries and I think you’d like them,” without looking over my shoulder.

So, okay, as a writer I think people are getting carried away with the hidden meaning of words and phrases. I think the Word Police need to take a step back and think about the context in which these figures of speech are being used. Use some common sense, for crying out loud.

I know we live in trying and scary times, and there’s more violence in the world than there should be. However, lighten up a little. There’s enough drama with what’s really going on today without worrying about catch phrases and clichés. These are tools a writer uses occasionally, and they’re also words that people use every single day, somewhere and in some way. It doesn’t mean that everything they say should be taken literally. If you think you heard something that was a viable threat, then talk to someone. Common sense should tell you if something might be more than a figure of speech.

Now I think it’s time to step down off of my soap box and get back to the mind-boggling idea of taking more comments with a grain of salt. The only killing that goes on in my world is in books, and I’d like to keep it that way. Don’t take offense if one of my characters says something that’s not politically correct. They’re just fictional people, after all.

(For those who might we wondering, this post has nothing to do with any particular current events.)

Until next time, enjoy your week, and I hope you find a moment to just do something silly and stress free.

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw’s website

CLICK HERE for a quick trip to Amazon.com

In Bogey’s Ace in the Hole – A Bogey Man Mystery, a little old lady overhears a murder plot and reacts differently than most of us would. This is an oldie but a goodie, and an example of discriminating between a figure of speech and a real threat.

Mystery Writer Meets Mystery

Several years ago a friend and I had to put our detecting skills to work. After all, we write mysteries and we’d know how to do that.

I have two close friends, who for privacy reasons I’ll call Brenda and Jackie, who also write mysteries. The three of us live in different states and we’re spread from the west coast to the east coast. Brenda was moving to a new home and Jackie and I knew we’d be out of touch with her for a few days. Not a big deal, right?

Well, a few days went by, and then a few more days, and still no word from Brenda. We tried to call her on her cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail. Jackie and I began to worry, which is something we do well. We’ve had plenty of practice.

 Where's Brenda?

It suddenly struck Jackie and me that we write mysteries for a living. If anyone could track Brenda down it should be us, because after all, we know how to do these things. We write about them. We research them. We lined up our facts and moved on from there. We knew that Brenda had hired a moving company that was owned and run by women. We knew when and where she was moving to, although we didn’t have the new address yet. And we both knew how to use the Internet. It would be a piece of cake. Uh huh.

I checked online for moving companies in the area we were interested in that were owned by women. I found one, and only one. Remember, this was a long time ago and not every company showed up online. Well, I called the company, but they said they’d never heard of Brenda and they said that they were the only female-owned company in the area. It never dawned on me that they might say that because they didn’t want me checking with the competition. That was one of my bigger Duh Moments during this caper.

I checked a map and the Internet for the small town that our friend was moving to, and called both the local police station and the county Sheriff. They couldn’t help me because I didn’t have enough information.

Then Jackie hit on something. She’d saved some emails from Brenda and she thought maybe the recipients of those notes could help us locate friends or family. She was right. The address line held names that had become familiar to us from stories Brenda had shared.

We began emailing people who’d probably never heard of us. As it turned out, Brenda had mentioned us, so they were great about helping with the search. A friend had received a phone call from Brenda, but the connection had been terrible. At least she’d heard something.

As it turned out, Brenda didn’t have good phone service at the new home, and no Internet connection was readily available – the woes of living in a rural area. On top of that, her electricity had gone out during a storm.

Where did we get our information? Her ex-husband had received one of our emails. What a guy! He’d been in touch with her.

So Jackie and I ended up feeling pretty good about our deductive reasoning skills, and maybe this little exercise would help us in telling some of our stories. In the meantime, we were grateful that our friend was okay.

The point of this story? Sometimes it takes a writer’s mind to figure out a mystery without the aid of a private eye or the police. If this had happened today, you can bet we would have taken even more steps to find our friend, but in the meantime, we patted each other on the back – figuratively speaking, since we lived in different states.

Until next time, wishing you a fun little mystery of your own and the skills to solve it.

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw’s website (To be updated soon)

CLICK HERE for a quick trip to Amazon.com

Happy Fourth of July!

This holiday falls on Tuesday, and I’ve been hearing fireworks going on since last Thursday. Yes, it’s annoying because most of the dogs in the neighborhood are having fits, including mine. There’s not a lot of sleeping going on at my house.

However, this makes me wonder. Are these people celebrating the Fourth of July or are they celebrating the fireworks? Is it just an excuse to do something loud and exciting?

I could go into great detail about the occasion of our country’s independence, but if the story wasn’t learned in school, what’s the point?

When I grew up we celebrated on the holiday, the fourth day of July, and it renewed our patriotism. It was, and is, a reminder that this country fought for its independence from a foreign power.

Our military has continued to fight for freedom, and along with remembering and celebrating the reason for this special day, we should also remember the men and women who sacrificed so we could be what we are today.

My mother and father were very patriotic, and it rubbed off on me – so am I.

My husband was a patriot, too. One year he brought home a red, white and blue sign and hung it on the front door. It said, “A Proud American Lives Here… With His Little Miss Liberty”. One day I hope to pass that sign on to another patriot who has a little Miss Liberty at home.

There’s a lot going on in America right now – some good and some bad – but I hope in the end people will stop bickering and remember that the Fourth of July represents a time in history when people earned the right to be free.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw's website

CLICK HERE for a quick trip to Amazon.com

I'm not promoting a book this week -- just patriotism.

Change Your Shoes, Please

I was watching something on TV the other night and, well, there was a scene that bugged me. I’ve seen the same instance happen in several shows over a period of many years. A cop or P.I. or whoever is sneaking up on someone. They accidentally kick something, knock something over, or step on a twig that cracks and gives away their presence. No one seems to notice that their footsteps were a dead giveaway. They’re not wearing rubber soled or athletic shoes, so every step they take makes a sound. That should have actually been what gave them away. You can’t sneak up on someone if your steps are clicking or clacking or echoing.

A sneeze or a cough would make a better giveaway. They might drop a flashlight or some other heavier object, but I like the sneeze or the cough better. Those are sounds that you can’t necessarily control, and they’re human sounds. When’s the last time you heard a rat in an old warehouse cough or sneeze?

Some things are just too predictable when it comes to giving yourself away. Sneaking isn’t all that easy, but it might be smarter to wear those athletic shoes. An allergic reaction to flowers might cause the sneeze, or dust floating in the air might cause the cough. Of course, there’s always the possibility that your character has a cold but believes the job must be done anyway.

Maybe the character isn’t following anyone. Maybe they’re hiding from a bad guy and they’ve secreted themselves behind a pile of boxes. A sneeze, cough or a nervous hiccup will still work. Of course, it might make it harder to run for their lives if they’re coughing.

You have to look at all possibilities, all sides of what could happen.

I’ve also found it unrealistic if a character reaches into her purse, searches for and pulls out a weapon, and defends herself all in one swift movement. On the other hand, what’s she supposed to do? “Oh, hold on a sec, sweetie. I need to search my purse before you shoot, strangle, or beat me. cough cough With any luck I’ll find a cough drop before you hurt me. Be patient. I’m looking. Oh, here’s my gun. Uh, I mean here’s a cough drop.”

Bang! Too late. She didn’t even get her hand out of her purse. Yes, I know many people are anti-gun, but we’re talking about fiction here. And, frankly, if someone meant to do me harm, I sure hope I’d have something to defend myself with.

I once read a book where the protagonist used a bowl of salad as a defense. Figure that one out. It made sense in the context in which it was used and I’ve never forgotten that simple bowl of salad. (Darkness at Foxglove Corners by Dorothy Bodoin)

How about when they whisper to their partner? I understand that in a TV show the viewer wants to hear what’s said, but unless the character gets really close to their partner’s ear, the bad guy might hear something, too. It works better in a book.

Here’s one I almost forgot. Isn’t it just a bit silly when you see a female protagonist chasing a bad guy and she’s wearing high heels? She’d break her ankle before catching the bad guy. Unless, of course, the perpetrator that she’s chasing is also wearing high heels. She could take off the heels and run barefoot, but then she might step on something like broken glass and the whole chase could be over.

I understand these are probably farfetched ideas in the minds of some, but when writing a book I think the authors often need to put themselves in the footsteps (or shoes) of the  protagonist and think things through logically. What would work and what wouldn’t, and how do you keep from giving yourself away?

Of course, you can throw all of my comments out the window when you’re writing with humor or you need the characters to give themselves away. It’s just that there should be a purpose behind clicking shoes or a sneeze, or the type of shoes someone is wearing, or the weapon used to defend yourself.

Just some thoughts. Maybe I watch too much television.

Until next time, be prepared. Dress comfortably. Stay healthy. Think logically. Most of all, enjoy life.

CLICK HERE to visit Marja McGraw’s website

CLICK HERE for a quick trip to Amazon.com

Like ghost towns? What if you were stranded in one? Try Old Murders Never Die - A Sandi Webster Mystery