I’ve posted
about this subject in the past, and the time has come to mention it again.
I was
watching a movie the other night. The suspense was high, a bad guy was trying
to catch a young woman, and she needed to run and hide. She happened to be with
a friend while all of this was going on. She said something like, “I have to
run and hide. He is going to catch me if I don’t hurry.”
Okay, in a
time of high stress I’d probably be more likely to say, “I’ve got to get outta
here. He’s going to catch me if I stand here and talk about it.”
My issue? The
formality of her statement. If someone was chasing me, I probably wouldn’t say,
“I have to do something and I need to do it in a hurry.” In a moment of stress
I probably wouldn’t be thinking about using proper English. I’d be thinking in
terms of getting out of there. I wouldn’t be saying, “I have…,” but more likely
I’d be combining words and saying, “I’ve…” just to hurry things along.
“There is a
killer after me, oh dear, oh dear, and I must hurry to a safe place where he
cannot find me.” That kind of makes me cringe. I’d rather hear the character
say (breathlessly, of course), “There’s a killer after me and I can’t let him
find me. Is there a back door here?”
Does that make
sense? In fact, I might just run and not say much of anything. But we’re
talking about a movie (or a book). You often need dialogue to further the story.
You could
say, “I have to go to the store and after that I am going to run a few errands.”
More likely, if it were me, I’d say, “I’ve got to hurry to the store and then I’m
going to run a few errands. Be back later.”
My point is,
keep it real. Think about how you
might say something, or how your neighbor or a relative might say something.
Does combining words make us lazy? I don’t think so. I think it makes us real.
“Frederick,
will you not come to the party with me? You will liven things up,” or “Freddie,
won’t you go with me? You’ll make the party fun. Love your sense of humor.”
I wish I
could recall more of the lines from the movie, but it was so annoying that I
began tuning it out. No, not all of the examples above came from the movie. I
made them up, but that’s what I do.
However,
there are times when using both words is the right thing to do, as long as you’re
emphasizing something. “I will not
sit here like a ninny and wait for the bad guy to catch up to me. Now get out
of my way!” (I’m assuming someone told our heroine to sit down and take a deep
breath before overreacting.)
Do you pay as
much attention to dialogue as I do? Does it kind of bug you when it sounds too
contrived instead of natural? Is it just me???
Changing the
subject, but I’ve been writing a weekly blog since 2010. Maybe I need to take a
vacation from it. I’m running out of ideas. Hopefully something of note will
come to me soon.
Until next
time, listen to the way people around you speak this week. Decide what sounds
natural and what doesn’t. Maybe I should actually be suggesting you watch a
current movie and pay close attention to the dialogue. Well, your choice.
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I completely agree! Dialogue should sound natural and everyone I know (including myself) speaks using contractions. However, as you mentioned, NOT using them is a good way to emphasize what the character is saying and how they're saying it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pat. Somehow watching a movie or reading a book where the dialogue is stilted puts me off. For crying out loud, let the characters speak as real people would. Thank you so much for your comments!
DeleteThe same goes for not using today's natural talk when you're writing a book set in the 1800's or earlier. "I gotta get outa here" just doesn't go along with long skirts and bonnets.
ReplyDeleteExcellent point, Dorothy. Stay true to the time period you're writing about. Thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteKudos to you for writing a blog every week for so long! I tried doing that but it was too much for me and then I tried once a month. Now I write one sporadically or when an idea hits me. But I always look forward to your blogs.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pat. I always enjoyed your posts and I wish we'd see more of them. Thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteThe problem with being a writer is that you tend to notice things like dialogue when non-writers probably would not pay attention to it at all. I also find myself correcting phrasing. LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnother good point, Evelyn. It's difficult for writers not to be too critical sometimes. There was a time when I wouldn't have listened to dialogue that closely. Thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteThanks for this, Marja. I'll use it in my memoir workshop next month, with your name on top, of course. I'm always stressing dialogue -- good dialogue -- and while many of my adult students are afraid they can't do it, they (and I) see improvements once they make the effort.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a blogger but do send out my quarterly newsletter, which I believe you receive. Rest up, then come on back to your readers!
Thank you, Eileen! Dialogue is so important and keeps the reader reading. Our house is for sale and we're looking for another one. No rest in sight for any reason. : ) Thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteI get what you're saying totally. I listen to how people talk and the formality and smooth sentences have nothing to do with dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got it, Linda, and you're quite right. Of course, the narrative is another story, as you well know. Thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteGood topic, Marja. I think dialogue should be appropriate to the period of the writing. Few do it so well as Elmore Leonard. One suggestion I've heard and found useful is to read your prose outloud. Hearing it will tell you if it sounds right.
ReplyDeleteI agree, John. I've read dialogue aloud and changed it because it simply didn't sound right. Thank you so much for commenting!
DeleteExcellent topic, and on point. I also think dialogue can be used to develop a character--I haven't mastered that aspect by any means, but always in the back of my brain. I should use more dialogue...as always you've gotten me thinking.
ReplyDeleteI don't see how you do a weekly blog--and a good one always! I struggle to have one every seven weeks for Writers in Residence. My hat's off to you, Marja.
Thank you, Madeline! Some stories are meant to have less dialogue. "Seeing" what the character is all about works to develop him. You do that well. Thank you so much for commenting!
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